Verify
by PaddynBelle
Summary: A one shot from a drabble prompt.  Santana tells Rachel that if she doesn't give up her V-Card, she might as well count on giving up Puck.


The first time she's drunk.

Rachel rarely gets buzzed and never gets drunk and at first he thinks it's cute (STFU… happy, buzzed Rachel IS cute) but as the night goes on, it's less cute and more What the Fuck?

Rachel, who only just started letting him feel her boobs under her bra after 2 months of dating is falling all over him, using the word "fuck" and using it in **public**. He was standing in Mike's kitchen getting another beer and he'd lost sight of her. Some little blond wearing too much makeup and too few clothes was doing the pretend drunk thing and grabbing his arm and "accidentally" stumbling into him.

All of a sudden, Rachel was there, whispering in his ear, "You know my dads are gone for the weekend. You can fuck me tonight if you want."

"Time to take you home, Baby." He said goodbye to his boys and maneuvered her towards the door.

When they reached his truck, she said it again.

He just lifted her into the seat, snapped her seat belt, got in and drove back to her house.

She didn't say it, or anything else, for the rest of the ride. When they got to her house she was already asleep. He carried her up the stairs, put her in her bed and went to sleep on the couch.

The next morning, hungover and miserable, Rachel came downstairs and sat next to him on the couch. She wouldn't look anywhere but at her feet.

"Noah, I…last night…I'm…"

"S'Okay Babe. Booze'll do that to you. No worries."

"No…why didn't you? I thought..you don't want to have sex with me?"

OooKaay. Not expecting this.

"Um, Rach, yeah...I do. But there's rules. Fucking a drunk girl is just douchey. Fucking a drunk virgin is…well, it's whatever's worse than douchey. My girlfriend's first time being drunk at Chang's house with 100 other people around? What the fuck Rach, you think I'd do that to you?"

He's a little pissed off, she's hungover and this conversation isn't going anywhere good, so they change the subject and the moment passes.

The next time is after the last regular season basketball game, but this time she's stone cold sober and it ends in a fight. She didn't want to go to the after-game party, he knew that and considering what happened at the last party, was perfectly fine with her not wanting to go.

He wouldn't have gone either but this was the game that put the team into Sectionals and he decided to go for a little while before heading to her house.

When he showed up and walked in the door, she was standing there in a robe and she threw a condom at him before he could shut the door behind him.

"I'm ready Noah."

Ready? Ready for what? He knows she isn't ready for sex, shit, he's only had his hand under her skirt twice now and not even under her panties. Throwing rubbers? She hasn't even said hello. This is NOT Rachel.

He decided to joke it off at first.

"Hi Baby. How was your night? The game was good."

"I'm ready to have sex Noah."

"Baby, what the…"

"I said-"

"I heard what you said. What's going on Rach? You're standing there looking like someone facing a firing squad, throwing rubbers at me and what the hell, Baby?"

"What the Hell? What the Hell? When have you ever said what the Hell to sex, **Puck**? I guess saying no to me isn't a problem if you can get it anywhere else you want it? How **was** the party, **Puck?**"

Puck? She didn't just Puck him, did she? Twice?

He was tired, sore and had been looking forward to spending a few hours hanging out with his girlfriend and he walks into the Twilight Fucking Zone?

He's leaving before he says something he regrets and he slams the door behind him.

For the next two weeks, they barely speak and fuck all if he can figure out why. He's not going to apologize. For what? Not taking her virginity when she's bombed?

She cries to Kurt. "He doesn't want me. Noah Puckerman won't have sex. With me. What's wrong with me"

"Nothing is wrong with you, Diva. The boy is crazy about you, anyone with eyes can see that. What in the name of Prada is bringing this on?"

She tells him. All about Santana . And the "advice" she gave her.

"Oh Sweet Gucci, Diva. Taking relationship advice from La Lopez is like taking fashion advice from you. It just isn't done."

It doesn't help.

She thinks she's losing Noah and that one day she's going to get dumped for some girl who puts out. "Puts out? Who even says that, Diva?"

Another week, and while they're speaking now, they aren't speaking about what happened. Or what didn't happen, as it were.

All of them are spending Friday night at the Hudson/Hummel place, hanging out, drinking, playing video games, the usual. It's not really big enough to constitute a party, but there's a decent amount of people there, mostly the basketball team and the Gleeks. The Sectionals tournament starts next weekend and it may be their last free weekend for a while, depending on how deep the team goes in the tourney.

He's been drinking pretty steadily since he got to Finn's house but he isn't drunk. He's spending the night so it's not like he has to drive anywhere. He's avoiding Rachel because he really doesn't want to have another Fuck Me Fight. He still can't figure out how being a decent boyfriend has ended up with them barely speaking and on opposite sides of the house.

"Get in here."

"What the hell, Hummel? You're pretty and all but you know I only like you as a friend. Seriously, what the hell dude? Why'd you pull me in your room?"

"God, why can't straight boys figure out their own love lives? Do you know **why** your girlfriend has been trying so desperately to lose her virginity to you the last few weeks?"

Oh, fuck no. He was NOT talking about Rachel's virginity with Hummel. Or anybody. Ever.

"Leaving now, Hummel. This convo is over."

"Santana told her that if she didn't, you'd find someone else to keep your bed warm."

Shit. Shit. SHIT.

"What?"

"Dear, sweet, Santana told Rachel that, and I quote, 'If you want Puck to stay with you and be faithful, you'd better give up your V-card soon before he loses interest. And frankly, I wouldn't hold out much hope for the faithful part.' Endquote"

"FUCK!"

"Well yes, that was the suggestion."

Damn, he felt like an idiot. He should have figured out something was up but this?

"Shit. She's gotta know that's just Satan's MO. She does that shit just to screw with people's heads."

"Well, it worked. And no, she doesn't know. I mean…she does know that mind-fucking is Santana's hobby but, well, to be truthful, up until you started dating Rachel, recreational fucking was your hobby. She's a senior in high school and still a virgin. There's a pretty big experience gap between you two. It's not terribly shocking that Santana was able to mess with her head. "

Kurt turned to leave the room, "and this is as much of a conversation about your and Rachel's sex life as I ever want to have Puckerman. Just fix it."

He found her upstairs by the karaoke machine with Tina. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist and buried his face in her hair.

"Come with me Baby. Wanna talk to you."

She stiffened in his arms and he wondered if she thought that "talk to you" meant that he was going to take her to one of the bedrooms and do what she'd been asking.

Her thinking she'd have to do that when she wasn't ready just to keep him damn near broke his heart. This girl had no idea.

"S'okay Baby. We're just gonna talk."

They went into the guest bedroom and shut the door. He locked it so none of the dumb fucks downstairs would wander in and they could have this conversation in private.

He saw her face when he locked the door and the apprehension in her eyes made him want to punch Santana (and bitch was damn lucky he doesn't hit girls but he will pay Satan back for the look on Rachel's face) or punch himself for not figuring it out sooner.

"Baby, C'mere. Sit with me." She sat down next to him, but she wouldn't look at him. Her whole body was rigid and her breath made that little hitch thing that it does when she's trying not to cry.

He put his hand on her back and started rubbing.

"Rach, look at me." He put his left hand under and chin and turned her head towards him. Her eyes were dry but between the breath hitch and the scrunched nose, he knew it wasn't long before there were tears.

"Rachel, I'm not just with you for sex. When you're ready, and I mean **really** ready, I'm not gonna turn you down but I'm not with you for an easy lay. If I wanted that I could be out there bedding cougars and I'd still have the entire Cheerio's numbers in my phone.

But that's not what this is about…this, us. It's about you, and the fact that I don't want to be with **anyone** else.

Baby, trust me here. I'm not worried about if or when. When it happens, it's gonna be epic. No doubts.

But it's gonna happen without you needing to be drunk to get yourself through it, or because you're worried that if I'm not getting it from you, I'll be getting it somewhere else. I'm not and I won't.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I love you."

There they are. The tears. He was expecting them but at least these are, he hopes, the good kinds that girls always talk about. They must be because she's smiling at him.

"You love me?"

"Yep. Done. Ballgame over, last out. I love you."

"I love you too. I…I'm sorry Noah, I've been such a baby about this. I just didn't- And all those girls before-How could I-"

"Shhh. No more about anybody else. Don't want them. Want you." He leaned over and kissed her. It was the gentlest kiss he could ever remember giving anyone. "Love you."

The room was quiet except for the sounds of lips touching, soft sighs and whispered words.

"Make love to me Noah"

They need to have Jewish saints for what he was about to do here.

"I will Baby, I promise I will, but not here and not like this. And **not **'cause I don't want you. I do. But your first time isn't going to be anything that you will ever regret in any way."

"C'mon, let's get back downstairs before your sexy ass makes me change my mind and jump you right here."

"And Baby? If Santana ever tries to tell you what fucking day it is, go find a calendar first. And Google. And your cell phone. See what I'm saying here? Verify, Rach. Bitch is crazy"

She giggled at him. "I get it Noah. Love you."

"Love you too, Baby"


End file.
